Do I Need to Show You Pictures of Puppies...?

So, I was hungry yesterday afternoon-ish when I remembered I had a delicious bbq chicken pizza, waiting to be made, in the freezer. As I bounded down the stairs, two at a time, beside myself with hunger and anticipation I thought I heard a weird noise coming from the first floor. There is a bathroom on the first floor, but its broken/too gross to be used, so I couldn't understand why there was a noise that sounded like a running shower coming from the kitchen and living room area. As I flew into kitchen I discovered where the noise was coming from. The Tegu, aka The Puppy, instantly froze upon seeing me, as did I upon seeing him, and for a couple of seconds it looked like he was planning on standing his ground having now claimed dominion over the kitchen and my pizza. Just as I was about to slowly back the hell out of the kitchen and settle for a Lucky Charms dinner up in my room, The Puppy freaked and started, essentially, sliding as fast as he could manage out of the kitchen and away from me. You see, his freakishly long claws, which could probably sever my arm with little effort, aren't well adapted to running on wooden floors. Another reason, if there weren't enough already, why a South American lizard like a Tegu should not be kept in a converted barn in Western Massachusetts.

You know how in school and at zoos you're always told, "Don't worry, even big, scary animals are more scared of you then you are of them." You know how the general reaction we all have to that is usually some version of "You are so full of it"? Well, they do have a point. Cause, although the dude in the picture above is probably a little bigger than The Puppy, he isn't that much bigger; if I had to guesstimate, I would say that The Puppy is a solid 3 or 3 1/2 feet long and at least a foot wide. In other words, he is a big mamma jamma, and yet he ran away from me like I was Rambo, if Rambo had shrunk, suffered some serious weight-loss and was a world-renowned Tegu killer in his free time. Needless to say, I did not see any more of The Puppy for the rest of the day and was left very much in peace to make my California Pizza Kitchen-ey goodness.