Interview with a Crocodile

For weeks afterward, I wondered and I weighed my options in my mind, over and over again. My friend from home Greg told me, "Dude, you have to go down there and see it for yourself. And then, you gotta go out and buy it a collar and take it for walks. You'll always regret never having done it if you punk out. Make sure you take pictures and send them to me." Now, I there was no way in hell I was going to take the potentially mythical gator in my basement out for a walk. However, I would regret not ever seeing this thing for myself. What to do...?
So, on a Saturday morning, after having had some breakfast and coffee to steady myself/put myself completely on edge, I made my way to the basement. I may or may not have coaxed a cat or two down with me, as protection, along with a spatula from the kitchen and my camera, to document the expedition. After having limbered up and as I made my down the stairs and felt the cooler air hit my legs, I didn't know what to expect, except that I would likely have to run very fast. My hope was that I had the sense to run back the same way I had come. The first thing I saw, which gave my an instant sense of misplaced comfort, was a kiddy pool with a lamp hanging over it. Here was a well-known object from my youth; my sister and I would go over to my grandma's house and set up a flimsy, collapsible pool to play in on hot summer days. I can still remember the smell of the plastic lining and hear my grandma yelling to wait for the already boiling water to heat up, so we wouldn't catch a cold. Here it was, transformed into a container of death; a cage for evil. As I peered in, I saw it, a four foot long croc just chilling like no-one's business in this kiddy pool. And next to him, sure enough, was a really pissed-off looking turtle.
I made sure to keep my distance and not turn my back on these devils, but I was instantly attracted to another room in the basement, almost like a closet, where a light was on. As I walked closer and peered in, I could see drawer-like cages stacked from floor to ceiling. As I moved closer I could see that they were filled with rats. Our house also had a rat room. Awesome. Freaked out in a way that the crocodile and snapping tortuga had not managed to spook me, I hurried out of the basement and back up the stairs to my room to try and make sense of this latest development in my living situation/catastrophe.